Hazel turns 4

I think it every time - because it's so so true - how FAST the time does fly! Here we are with our sweet Hazel baby turning FOUR! I will confess (because mom guilt is real!) I have been way too nauseous and sick to do very much to celebrate our sweet girl this year. It makes me sad. I don't think you need to go overboard every year, but  I was sad that I could barely even sit at her birthday dinner - I have been SO sick. But, I can't complain because even though I don't feel great, I feel better than I did a week or so ago (when I couldn't get out of bed or off the bathroom floor for over a month, basically). To focus on the positive: I made her a birthday cake, from scratch - a really really delicious buttermilk layer cake with cream and strawberries - it was SO good! We paired it with some strawberry ice cream and a little sparkler action and it was perfect! She was so excited and happy just to have her own special cake, and to have her loved ones there, singing to her! We gave her two special gifts, which have been on her wish list for quite some time. She never had her own baby doll - so we surprised her with TWINS! She got boy/girl twin baby dolls! It took her a few days to settle on names, but she finally decided on Sally for the girl, and Ross for the boy. I'm not sure where she got Sally - but there is a little boy named Ross in her sunday school class at church. They came with pacifiers and bottles, and little shoes and hats - and she has been so wonderful sharing them with her brothers and sisters, who were almost as excited about the twins as she was. Of course, for her babies, we had to give her a cradle. So now Sally and Ross can sleep soundly next to her bed (on the nights she chooses not to co-sleep, that is ;). I guess focusing on her joy in the little things - a cake, family that loves her, and some gifts to enjoy - well, it doesn't seem so bad after all. I think I am just going to have to accept that this year will be a tough one - for them in some ways, but mostly, for me. It is hard work growing a new little human. The kids are SO excited about this bonus baby - as are we! I hope they remember the anticipation of expecting and waiting for their new baby rather than all the things their mom couldn't do as well as she would like during this time. 

Hazel is such a joy to be around. She has a little bit of a stubborn streak that shows up every now and then, but all in all she is always smiling, always giving lots of love and hugs all around. She LOVES to snuggle up and doesn't hesitate a bit in telling you how much she loves you and likes you a zillion times a day. She adores her older siblings as well as her baby brother. She thinks the new baby will be a sister. She loves to be outdoors, loves to swing, loves to paint, and loves to play games. She is a good sport about falling into the "middle child" category. She is a sweetheart and has such a big bright spirit about her, though she is super petite and tiny. She will move mountains in her life - and she will do it all with a great big smile. Love her so much!

Outings // Kiddie Park San Antonio

In celebration of Hazel's 3rd birthday, we took a little drive down to San Antonio for the day. It was our first visit to Aunt Tia and Uncle Adam's new place, and they were so excited to have us over! We spent most of the day at Kiddie Park - it was such a blast for the kids! After lots of carnival rides, and even some cotton candy, we went back to their place and had dinner, cupcakes, and gift opening. I love this age where it sure doesn't take much to make a celebration, or to get excited! It really doesn't take much, does it? We sure were happy to celebrate another trip around the sun with such a lovely little girl in our lives! Hazel is such a lover - always wanting to snuggle and cuddle, we are so grateful she is part of our family. We love you, Hazel! We had so much fun celebrating YOU! 

Celebrations // Hazel turns three

This past week our sweet Hazel Grace turned three years old! Over the weekend, we traveled to San Antonio and met up with my sister and her husband (who recently moved there), and took the kids to a fun little amusement park. The glory of a "larger" family is there are always plenty of people around to make a celebration! The kids had a blast going on all of the little carnival rides, and eating cotton candy - it was so fun to see their faces light up as they went on the rides and searched for our faces in the crowd to wave at us. Having kids is just the best! On her "real" birthday, we kept things quite simple. It was a pretty normal, low-key day. We made homemade pizza (her favorite!) for dinner, and then, of course, we had cake. She requested chocolate cake, and I made her one of our favorite vegan cake recipes, and topped it off with three white candles and a rose from our rose bush. She was so excited when it was time to sing and blow out those candles! In fact, a whole week later, she is still walking around singing happy birthday. I just love this sweet girl so much. She is constantly wrapping her arms around my neck, and pulling my face to hers. She looks me right in the eye and says "I...Love...You!" We repeat it to one another, and then she puckers up for a big ole kiss. Then, we turn our cheeks for kisses on the cheek. And then we wink at one another. She honestly sit in my arms and do that for half the day and be completely happy. She has always been a bit of a mama's girl, needing me just a little bit extra. She has had a pretty big year this year! She became a big sister, transitioned from her crib to a big girl bed, and sharing a room with her sister. And we can't forget potty training, recently. Yes, a big year. A little rocky here and there with the adjustments, but who can blame her? Those are a lot of big things when you are a little girl. She has done very well, though, and one thing in which there is no doubt is that she loves well and is well loved. She has really bloomed in the big sister role, and has also really enjoyed the companionship and closer relationship she has developed with her big sister while her big brother was in kindergarten this year. I have a feeling she's also going to love having a bit more one on one time in the fall when Aspen goes to kindergarten, too (although she will miss her, as well - it's so darling to watch them play together, baby dolls and dress ups - melts this mamas heart!) Oh, how time flies! It really really does! I'm trying hard to keep focusing on all the fun we have as these babies of ours keep passing up milestones left and right. Watching them grow is so amazing - bittersweet at times if you think too much - but mostly, just such an amazing honor to behold. Here's wishing our sweet baby girl another wonderful trip around the sun! We sure love our Hazel!

Thoughts // four

Today marks four weeks since our sweet Hudson was born. It also marks four weeks since I have been the mother to four darling children. This is my dream come true! My arms and heart are simply over flowing with babies and my love for them couldn't be any bigger. I realized this morning that I had yet to take a single picture of all four of my babies together, and so I decided to give it a go - and surprisingly, though it started off rather loud, it got quiet and we had a small window where all were calm, and I was able to magically capture this most beautiful moment in time. An image for each child, and one of them all together. I couldn't ask for more! I will cherish these images for always, I know that. I keep looking at the sweet faces of my children and wondering, how it is that I've been so blessed? I am ever so humbled and grateful for the chance I have to be their mother, the one, along with their wonderful father, who has been entrusted to help give them life, and to guide, teach, walk beside, and love them throughout their earthly journey - and beyond. I surely have my short comings and the ups and downs of motherhood are so very real - yet I thank my lucky stars multiple times each day for this gift. It is what I was born to do, and what I have dreamed of for my whole life. If there is one thing I want my children to know, it's that they are loved. Oh, so very very loved. My four little loves - oh how I love you!

11 months old

Ohhhhh, Hazel.

I owe you an apology. I vowed that three kids would not make me a slacker...at least when it came to documenting the first year. I'm not so sure it's the number of kids, but the craziness of our lives the past year few months that, indeed, have me slacking in documenting much of anything of our lives these days (with the exception of snapshots on my iPhone - my Instagram feed is quite active!)

First thing - you are growing up way way way way way too fast! You went from baby to toddler, it seems, overnight!

-you don't eat baby food, and haven't for quite some time. you like big people food. some of your favorite foods these days are: banana, mango, watermelon, avocado, peas, carrots, cheese, salmon, mama's homemade whole yogurt, mac n cheese - and pretty much anything else the family is eating for dinner.

-you may not eat baby food, but you still LOVE to nurse! I know I've said it before, but I love the special bond nursing brings, because Mama's milk is so much more than nutrients. There is a comfort in nursing that no one can replicate with a bottle. A few weeks ago you fell and got hurt, and the only thing that would comfort and calm you was to nurse you for a few minutes. At that moment I was so happy I could offer that kind of comfort to you. I think sometimes I forget how lucky I am that nursing has been so easy and natural for me and all my babies. It is a time I truly treasure. I don't see you stopping nursing anytime in the very near future, and I'm totally okay with that :)

-oh, and TEETH! Those top four took forever, but finally all broke through. good-bye (tear) gummy grin. Hello toothy grin! And while we're at it, hello toddler mullet! It's getting longer in the back...longer than in front or on top - I'm not sure what to do? I buzzed your bros hair by this age, and your sis had curls to cover up the akward stage...I think we'll just roll with it, or maybe try some pigtails? You're cute no matter what!

-a month or so ago, you took your first steps. But these days, you are walking EVERYWHERE! You are in a hurry, girly! Daddy says that by your birthday - which is next weekend!!!! - you'll be running to get your piece of cake. I don't doubt it. And...

-climbing the chairs and table to get to the cake, as well. You are our first climber! I've always kind of had it easy because your older brother and sister were generally cautious and I didn't have to worry a lot about them doing something too crazy and getting hurt - but you, littlest sis! Wow! You keep me on lifeguard duty all day long :) You scale anything you can, and if there's a plug, you go for it (so first thing we did before moving in was baby proof the house with gates on the stairs and plug covers, and little locks on the cupboards etc.) AND if there's a tiny piece of even lint on the floor, you find it and try to eat it. Sawyer says "I love Hazel - she's our crazy silly baby!" It's true. You are a silly sweet girl and I have a hunch you'll have a great sense of humor!

-you're so easy going. Perhaps because your whole first year you've made so many adaptations to the changes we've had - or your personality, who knows. But it's great. You're always happy, and I love it.

-you are a total water baby!

-you love it when we sit in your new cozy rocking chair and read books. you also love it when I sing to you. 

-you love trying to keep up with your brother and sister. you always want to be where they are. you have taken a great interest in legos (the bigger duplo kind) and you also love playing with the WOW cars we have (they are friction operated little race cars, well, not that little - big enough for you to hold and push around, it's so cute. Your brother and sister picked one out for you to have your very own for your upcoming birthday!)

-since moving into our new house, you've become a champion napper! It's crazy! In our apartment you were constantly being woke up by your brother and sister, who would go in our room to "check" on you and wake you up. Or maybe the fact that the table where they sat eating or doing art projects, was right on the opposite wall of where you were sleeping and their laughter would wake you. Plus, I did drag you around in the baby backpack/ergo/stroller a lot so you napped there. BUT I couldn't count on your naps, it was just a lucky day when you got two naps at home. Since moving into your own room, your own space - on a different floor than the dining/art table...you take TWO AMAZING naps EVERY day! (why do you think I'm doing this post right now? because you've been napping for an hour and will probably continue right until lunch time!) Maybe you're making up for months of sleep deprivation, or maybe all that walking and running around is tiring your little body out. Or maybe it's just much more quiet in your own room. I'm not sure what it is, but I'll take it. 

-there's so much more I could say. The reason I remembered to even do this post is because I was trying on the dress I want you to wear on your birthday. It's a sweet white dress that your Aunt Tia brought back to you from her trip to Norway. It's like 9 months sized, but is still big on you. You are a petite little powerhouse of a girl. Future dancer or gymnast, perhaps? You are cute and sweet and we love you bunches and bunches. 

-I'm so glad I chose you over Kauai. That's a bit of a story...Daddy and I were looking ahead. We were going to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary, and we had thoughts of taking the family to Kauai and having a little time to frolic in the Hawaiian Islands with our little family before we moved on (we knew changes were coming). But, instead, I told Daddy I wanted to have YOU. We couldn't afford to do both the vacation and have another baby, so I chose YOU. We probably could've gone on two luxurious Hawaiian vacations for how much it cost to have a baby...but luckily Daddy didn't mind :) Who knows if we'll ever make it to Kauai. But we know we have you and will love you forever. You're even better!  

-I love you more than you'll ever know. But I hope that as you grow up you will always know I love you. We love you. You've captured our hearts, little wonderful baby girl!

And now, I must sign off because - yikes! Time to finish planning your first birthday! A week from tomorrow!!!!

8/9 months

I realized a week or so ago that I failed at posting any pictures or my monthly update on all that Hazel is doing these days. So, here are a couple from the day we had our tea party. She was looking so sweet in her Easter dress. And that hat! It's her sister's sun hat, but she kept putting it on her head, and then we all laughed when Hazel would try to peek out or take it off. A game in itself! I know the next few weeks will be crazy as we're getting ready to move, so I thought I'd just write a little note so Hazey knows what was going on during those months...

Darling little Hazel...during your 8th and 9th months...

-We bought you a new house! Well, it's for all of us, but most definitely for you as well. I know you're going to love our big backyard, the neighborhood playground, and the pool. AND, you will finally get a room of your own - right in time to celebrate your first birthday! Consider it the kind of gift you only get...every now and then :)

-You are so fast! You like to stand up and "walk" around, and can stand unassisted for a few seconds. You love to grab onto Mommy's legs and just stand there, holding on. I know it won't be long until you're walking and running - but I'm going to place my bet on right around your birthday. (please, no sooner! you're already growing up way too fast!)

-You are a sheer delight! So happy and just so fun to be around! Giggles galore, and the cutest little smirky grin. 

-I think you truly will be our brunette. Mini Audrey Hepburn!

-You love love love finger foods. We've been doing baby led weaning (which is NOT weaning from breastfeeding, it's a British term that means we add food along with the liquid gold, but it's not just mashed up baby food. We did purees for the first couple of month, and I made most all of your food! But now we just follow your lead and hand you REAL food (not steak, mind you). You LOVE it and you're so proud of feeding yourself like a big girl!) Some of your favorites are banana, apple, mango, pear, melon, avocado, pasta, carrots...etc.

-You also have finally got the hang of signing!!! One day, it just all clicked and when I asked if you were "all done" with your dinner, you looked at me and started signing back "all done", with a huge grin! It's a magic moment when that happens, for sure!

-You LOVE LOVE LOVE the water! You always have, but now that it's warmed up again and we are hitting the pool - oh baby, you are SUCH a water baby! I love it! And when we start the water, whether it be for a shower or a bath, you crawl to the tub like there's no tomorrow and try to climb in! 

-Still only TWO bottom teeth, I keep thinking some more will break through at any moment - I can see the top four right through your gums...any day, any day...

-We can't imagine life without you. You are very very sweet and loved more than you can probably ever imagine! I can't believe that in a couple of weeks you'll be 10 (TEN!!!) months old! I've already started planning your first birthday party! I think you're gonna LOVE it!

-Your Momma loves you like crazy cakes!!!!

7 months old

I canNOT believe another month has flown on by! January is a busy month for our family, so busy, that I almost forgot to jot down a bit about our Hazel Gracie this month (I realized you'll actually be 8 months tonight and I hadn't posted yet...!) Oh, being the third child...it has it's ups and downs! BUT, Hazey, just so you know, I make it a goal to do a photo and a few notes the whole first year for each of my babies...no matter how busy things get! :)

I do wish time would slow down a bit, though. Or maybe even freeze, just for a while. I love each and every stage of babyhood, but right now is just SO MUCH FUN! Here you are, seven months old - so roly-poly chub-a-liciously squishy and chunky, yet at the same time just so darn cute and darling! I love it! You have entered the age of "into EVERYTHING!" and it can't get any better than watching you discover the world (and every corner of our apartment ;)

At Seven Months...

-Your two bottom middle teeth erupted the past couple of weeks! You are our earliest teether (both your brother and sister got their first teeth around 10+ months). It makes for a very cute grin! In fact, when I was taking your pics for this month, all I was hoping for was a big wide grin to show off those cute pair of teeth - luckily, you complied, because...

-You are SO HAPPY! Such an easy going, happy baby.

-I love the way you love me. You put your little hands on my face, grab me, pull our faces together, and drench me with kisses. It's the sweetest thing ever! 

-We had a few long nights when those teeth were trying to poke through, but mostly you would just wake up or whimper a little in your sleep. I'd take you out to the living room and we'd play with your toys, or nurse and snuggle, sometimes until 4am - those nights I even gave you some tylenol - but even in spite of your teething troubles, you are constantly smiling and happy. 

-The things that seem to help you the most when your teeth are bothering you are chewing on your baby food spoons (the old school gerber kind with the silicone (?) dipped tips)- which you do when you're sitting in your high chair, and this natural rubber binky I got for you at Whole Foods. It made the cut for pictures (above) because you carry it around with you to chew on. Of course we can't forget Sophie, le giraffe :) Whatever would we do without Sophie?

-The thing that makes you the most sad in the world, and probably the only thing that makes you sad - is when your brother and sister are playing legos or blocks in their room and they don't want you to knock them down, they shut the door to keep you from imminent destruction. You crawl as fast as you can to get through the doorway, and they say "Momma - hurry, come get Hazel so she doesn't knock down our city (or whatever it is they've built)." You get a sad face and kick your little legs when I bring you out of their room and the door closes behind you. :( Sometimes, you crawl back to the door and start knocking on the door, waiting to see if they'll open it up for you. Other times, you pull yourself up to stand, balancing by holding onto the door, just waiting. Most of the time, though, I rescue you and we start playing something else together. I guess part of the plight of the third child is that there are times you might be left out...at least until you're big enough to not knock things down or try to put things in your mouth that don't belong there. So sorry about that, little one.

-That said, you LOVE your brother and sister! And they love you! They will do anything to make you smile and laugh (luckily, it doesn't take much!) 

-One of your favorite things - still - is bath time! Now you get to take baths with your brother and sister, and when you do, you are in HEAVEN! You also like to take showers. You slip and slide and crawl around my feet, and always figure out how to stop the drain thingy so that it starts filling the tub up so you can "swim". I still let you have your own bath sometimes, to slow down the pace and the amount of water that leaves the tub, but wow, you are certainly a water baby! I can hardly wait to get you in the pool again - just a few more weeks! (hellooooo Austin weather! It's the first week of February and we've been in the 80s twice this week already!)

-I love that before your morning nap, I read you a story or two, cuddle and sing you your naptime songs, usually uninterrupted. Well, of course we get interrupted sometimes, but generally your brother and sister are off in their own little play world at that time, so we get a few minutes together, just us. I love it!

-I also love, though it has its challenges as well, that all my babies are at home with me all the time. We do Nature School once a week (I am the teacher! You are the assistant teacher!) but we all go together. Otherwise, we have no preschool, and no other outside obligations. I love that our life is simple right now. I don't have to wake you or work around school schedules to drop off or pick up kids. I don't have to wake anyone up to go to school in the morning. Maybe I'm lazy? I love love love that our life is simple. There will be time for dance classes and soccer practices later. For now, it is our time :)

-You now pull yourself up on EVERYTHING you can, and can inch your way along the couch or windowsill. It's really cute when you get all quiet and I find you standing there staring out the window into our little backyard, or looking up at the trees. Adorable!

-Okay, so I almost forgot to mention, but you've learned how to squeal! Luckily, it is a squeal of delight! But nonetheless, sometimes it's loud! 

-You are loving your food. I love making it for you, all organic and homemade. I love nursing you, too. The last week I started giving you some more finger foods - tiny pieces of bread, cut up avocado, mango, pear, etc. You LOVE LOVE it! I can tell it makes you feel like a big girl! I think next month I may give you a bowl of homemade yogurt and a spoon and see what happens (this is when I'm glad we're renting an apartment right now - eating is messy but fun!)

-You love to be outside (who doesn't?) - you enjoy when we go on long walks to the playground, and you love watching the kids, and going on the baby swings. You also like sitting in the sand with bare feet (I love that we can do that in the middle of a Texas winter!) - I'm so excited to take you to the beach later this year!

-You bring such light and joy to our family. That sounds cheesy, but I mean it. Each child brings joy, but there is a special magic about babies, for sure. Sometimes, I wish I could have a million!

-I love you to pieces! WAY past the moon, and back!

6 months old

Things were so busy last month with the holidays and all, that I forgot to do my little monthly post for our dear Hazey. I realized over the weekend that she'll be SEVEN months old this coming week...so on Saturday I tossed her on our bed and took a handful of photos. I wanted to take her outside but it's been a bit chilly...so maybe next month she'll finally get some with a different background :) Wherever she is, though, she's pretty darn cute! Most importantly, she's as sweet as can be. Love this girl - and I can't believe she's already half way to her birthday! (I've already started brainstorming for her party!) Here she is with her green holiday headband and the surprise Santa left for her - a cute little fox. It was slightly challenging to get her to hold still for one second for a picture since she wanted to just crawl right over to me...or off the bed! But we did get a few...six months!

Hazel, at SIX months...

-You're just so squishy and chub-a-licious! "Now that is a breast-fed baby!" I've heard people say. I LOVE it! You smell so yummy and feel so...perfect. You are just how you should be!

-You had your first cold. It was sad to see you sick, but you were a great sport about it! You didn't seem to mind your runny nose and you slept right through most of your coughs. Well, I take that back...one night you DID mind. You had a night with scary croup and, though I've experienced it before both as a nanny and as a parent, this time it really scared me! And YOU! You couldn't breathe well and you started crying because you were scared, and it just broke my heart. Luckily, it went away after that first night - and I hope we never see it again!

-You had a WONDERFUL time celebrating your first Christmas! It was so fun to see the wonder and curiosity in your eyes (and hands)as you explored all you could and took in all of the lights and activities we did for our advent. You started crawling last month, but this month, baby, you were going FULL SPEED AHEAD! 

-You also learned how to sit up independently this month, so between sitting and crawling you were having all sorts of fun! It makes me smile to see you crawling around and getting into things! You look so little...but you know where you want to go - you love to go into your brother and sisters room and wade through the duplos and find things (we're lucky, so far we have NO toys that are too small to be dangerous, which is mind-easing for me!)

-Now that you sit up, you have joined your brother and sister for bath time a couple of times and you LOVE it! You've always loved your baths, but now that you can splash and swim and get all their fun bath toys, it's even better! Quite the party in the tubby at night! Daddy and I often get drenched :)

-You started solid food this month, and you've been loving it! I generally feed you breakfast and dinner and then you just do a lot of nursing in between. I think we might add lunch this next month. Oh, you also started practicing with your own sippy cup! I put a little water in it and it keeps you entertained as you carefully place your little hands and lift it. Just watch out below for when you toss it off your high chair tray!

-You still wear 3-6 months sized clothes :)

-You love lullabies, and classical music. Well, maybe it's just music in general, but you definitely loved listening to the Nutcracker Suite around Christmas - you even danced in our family's production of the Nutcracker - you were Marie and you did the Waltz of the Flowers with Mama.

-You draw people to you. Seriously. People are just drawn to you - I mean, most people are drawn to cute babies, but people even say "there is just something about her..." your eyes? your smile? your sweet disposition? I like to think you just bring out the best in people - what a wonderful trait! 

-Your brother and sister love that you can get in on the action, now that you're crawling and sitting and eating at the table with us and doing all sorts of fun things - like laughing at them. Sawyer will make himself fall off his chair at the dinner table over and over again just because he loves to make you laugh. You bring so much joy to our family - I can't even imagine our life without you in it. We are so lucky to have you, and we are so in love with you.

-The second part of the month, you started trying to pull yourself up onto things - anything that will work. We don't have a lot of furniture, so one of your favorite places to pull up is our dining room chairs, which can be tricky, but you're doing it. Sigh. Can you slow down just a little bit? A little?

-I kind of accidentally gave you the nickname "Hazey" so now your sister likes to call you Hazey, too :)

-Your eyes appear to be settling into a nice custom shade of Hazel.

-I think your hair is going to stay dark! It's so beautiful! Your sister's hair (if I recall) had already started lightening up by about this age (all of you were born with super dark hair) but if yours is still dark now, I'm thinking it might stay! When I look at your brunette hair and pretty defined eyebrows, I imagine dressing you up some Halloween as Audrey Hepburn, I'm not sure why. But I think it would be so fun, and you'd look stunning!

-So much more I could say...but the most important is simply: I love you. We love you. Everyone loves you! You're our beautiful, lovely Hazel Grace and the world is blessed and honored to have your presence here :)