Celebrations // Hudson turns ONE!

Hudson turned one a few weeks ago. It seemed to happen SO fast! Yet, he has done so much this year, and learned so much! He started walking a couple of weeks before his birthday...and he hasn't slowed down since! His actual birthday was really low-key. We had planned to celebrate outdoors, but there was a big tropical storm that rained and flooded us out of that idea...so we celebrated in the coziness of our home, sweet and simple. We gave our little boy a wooden drum and his brothers and sisters gave him a little toy fox and wolf - cozy for him to snuggle with. His Aunt and Uncle gave him a new outfit - and we all gave him lots of squishy hugs and kisses! He was a huge fan of the chocolate cake and ice-cream, too! 

Well, today we finally had some great weather and some time with his brother and sisters (as school is out this week for Thanksgiving Break), so we took advantage and celebrated at the park with some cupcakes and gave Hudson his chance to smash that cup-cake while we took some pictures to document how big our boy is these days. The kids all wore some woodland animal masks that I made recently (except the birthday boy/fox - he doesn't like wearing masks or hats these days!) and we had a grand little celebration at the park. It just so happened to be the park next to the hiking trail where I first started going into labor with my sweet boy. We had gone hiking that afternoon, and when we were headed home, around dinner time, I started having more regular surges or contractions. Eventually we started timing them and after dinner went to the birth center, where he was born that evening! We brought him back to the park to celebrate his first week of life (with cupcakes, of course), so it only seemed fitting to bring him back to celebrate his first birthday. 

We love our Hudson Jude so very very much. He brings SO much joy and peace into our home and our lives. He has a super easy going personality, likes to giggle, has big blue eyes and a smile to match. He loves his brother and sisters. He loves his Daddy and he loves his Mama. He absolutely loves the outdoors and exploring, as well as warm baths with building towers with his little wooden blocks. He loves to dance and his current favorite song is "If You're Happy and You Know It" - his favorite part is to shout "hooray!!!!" We couldn't imagine our lives without our sweet boy - so today, and every day, we celebrate his life and the blessing he is in ours. Happy First Birthday, Hudson! Here's to the many wonderful years ahead that we get to celebrate with you!

twelve months of hudson jude!

Our sweet baby boy is ONE! Isn't the first year absolutely AMAZING!?! It is insane how much they grow and learn in twelve months. Incredible! We are so excited to celebrate our Hudson Jude this weekend!

Hudson at 11 months

How did we get here so fast? Tonight he'll be eleven months old. Officially on the countdown to his first birthday. He lights up our life in ways both big and small, and all of us are head over heels for our happy baby. What a gift he is. He is proof that God listens...and provides a way when the way sometimes seems impossible. Feeling so lucky, so thankful, so blessed to be his mama, and that out of all of the wonderful families in the world...he chose hours. 

Hudson at 10 months

Today we have been loving on this boy for 10 months! He can stand on his own for a few seconds, and cruises around the house, taking steps here and there. He loves climbing the stairs, and we're teaching him how to go down them on his tummy. He is a busy boy, but will always stop for cuddles. He adores his big brother and sisters...and bath time! He also adores being pushed on the swings! He's turned so brown this summer and has sun-streaked hair like a little surfer boy, and tan lines between all of his deliciously chubby rolls. He loves blueberries, spaghetti, and steamed broccoli. He loves his stacking toy, and wooden blocks. He's got pretty amazing coordination and loves to build towers...and knock them down. He drums on everything and enjoys music. And when he says "mama", it's like music to my heart. He's such a fun guy to have around - couldn't imagine life without him here. We're continually grateful for the joy he brings to our family and everyone he meets. I can't believe it's time to start thinking about what kind of cake he might like for his birthday!

Hudson at 9 months

Nine months old! Gah! This little hunk said his first word a couple of weeks ago... "uh oh!" He has recently started taking a step or two as he holds onto furniture, too. His favorite is to play in the teepee, but his most favorite of all is to play outside. He's a total water baby, loves the bath and loves the pool (and rivers, creeks, lakes, etc.) He's finally taking at least one awesome nap per day (2-3 hours) and sometimes, he even takes two! He's got seven teeth and the cutest, silliest smile. He doesn't like pureed baby food, he prefers finger foods like steamed veggies or soft fruits. He's been practicing with his spoon and does pretty well with a bowl of yogurt, applesauce, or cottage cheese. He's also pretty good with his sippy cup, and likes to sneak sips from his siblings water bottles when we're out hiking. He goes down to bed in his crib (which we moved into our room) around 9pm, and wakes around midnight for a dream feed and to join us in bed. The way he snuggles up and curls his little legs right into me, like we were meant to be molded together, is just so sweet. A happy place for us both. He is happy, and an easy baby. He gets so excited when Daddy comes home, too, following him around with his happy prancing crawl, until he scoops him up. We love this boy so much. It's crazy how quickly the days fly right on by. I'm loving each and every one.

Hudson at 8 months

Can you believe our little guy is already 8 months old!?! To describe him in one word: Happy. He is just SO happy! Such a joy to have around. Super easy going - I mean, he has spent more time on the trail and sleeping in a tent than most babies his age, and he just goes with it! He loves the outdoors, and is always up for a new adventure! He is also filled to the brim with energy and just go go goes all day long. He started pulling himself up a couple of weeks ago, and he loves to stand up, then let go, and plop down on his bum (even in the bath tub!). He loves to laugh, has the cutest giggle, and in the past couple of weeks, his four top teeth have erupted. Soon, his big, happy grin, will be showing a lot of teeth!He eats well and mainly eats soft finger foods these days, favorites being melon, blueberries, a variety of steamed veggies, and graham crackers (the only part of the s'mores he gets this summer ;) He loooves swimming. Oh, and thankfully, he is finally starting to take a real nap. He nurses, cuddles, and nods off for a short nap in the morning, but he has started napping for an hour or two in his crib in the afternoon. He still loves to nurse, but is easily distracted these days. Life is extra good with this cute guy around!

Thoughts // rhythm vs routine

I was thinking recently about how our family has shifted and adapted, and slowly found a new rhythm as a family of six. If there is one thing I have learned by now, it is that babies grow up quickly - and each subsequent child seems to grow up twice as fast as the last. I think back to when I had just one baby. Time ticked on, but in an almost beautifully slow manner. By the time my first was six months old, I was ready for another one! And while we did want to space our children rather close together, after we had our second, I realized that we didn't need to be in quite such a rush. I wanted to be able to enjoy each baby. So, the first were a year and a half apart, and then, thanks to my body doing a natural spacing, a bit further apart, the spacing between the second and third was 28 months. We had three babies before the first one turned four years old. And LOVED it! 28 months later...here came our fourth. And we are LOVING it! I will admit, though, that the transition to four has been slightly more tricky than previous. It has nothing to do with the baby himself - he is the happiest, easiest going little babe around (and cute, too!) It's more that the first started kindergarten this year, and so now we have to work around a school schedule. The paradox about me - is that I am very well organized (think "type A", in that respect), yet thrive from living rhythmically rather than by a strict routine (think more laid back, "type B", apparently, somehow, the two can coexist!). Well, this year is the year our rhythm found a bit more routine - though I did leave it all quite open-ended. For the first time, I had to wake my kids up in the morning - all four - and get them out the door to drop our kindergartener off at school. And in the afternoon, I had to wake one or two up from napping to go pick him up. Or, one or two (sometimes even three!) would fall asleep in the car while we were waiting in the line to pick him up from school. So, that was new. It went quite smoothly, but it was different. And the days just flew right on by. Here we are now, school just about to be out, and we get to live by rhythm alone for the next couple of months. I am now actually okay with a little bit of routine, but am still most comfortable when routine and rhythm merge into something a bit more organic - a place where some things are firmly set in place, while others are yet very flexible. With several little people constantly growing, changing, and in flux as they learn, develop, and bloom, that is what works best for us. We choose very intentionally not to be involved in much of anything during these little years. We say "no" to a lot of outside activities so to say "yes" to have the time we need to create an environment of peace, calm - and fun! for our little ones at home. There is a time for everything, is there not? And this precious time when my children are so little, I choose to devote to them - not to living our lives from one activity or obligation to the next. It is certainly not popular to live like we do. Our kids are not yet involved in music, sports, or dance lessons. Yet - they are in their own way. We have dance parties in the living room, sing together - hey, Daddy has his guitar and Mama has her ukelele, too. We play soccer in the back yard. We put in lots of time hiking. Our son may not know how to throw a football, but he knows how to pitch a tent. Our little girls may not know all of the six positions of the practice of ballet - but they know their yoga poses, and they know how to twirl around the house, dancing in their perfectly wonderful world of imagination. Truthfully, we can't afford to sign our kids up for everything, either. However, even if we could - at this time, we would choose not to. The time will come when they all aren't so little anymore, and they will each have to make careful decisions about where they want to invest our money and their time. But for now - our rhythm is sweet and very simple. It is so very lovely. My hands are surely full - it is a different kind of busy - but I love it so very much. I have noticed, though, that I have not taken nearly as many pictures of our handsome baby, our fourth child. I blame Instagram for part of that ;) So, as he enters his seventh month with us here earth side, I took a moment one morning and crawled after him and caught a few of our Hudson Jude. Our fourth baby. Our second boy. He is just such a joy - such a blessing to our family. My heart just explodes every time I see his cherubic face and happy smile. This image is my favorite from the handful I took the other morning. Four kids is so fun. Certainly, there are moments of chaos, but likewise, there are certainly moments of all the best stuff - which moments make it all worth it.  The first few months I let things slide left and right as we straddled that place between rhythm vs routine - and finally found a happy middle ground...for now. I think part of the beauty of life is how the world keeps spinning, time keeps ticking, drums keep drumming, people keep dancing, babies keep growing...and we all keep changing, adapting, and evolving. All with the hope of gaining wisdom and experiences that will ultimately generate more love and gratitude for the gifts we are given. Oh, and we are given so very many. I'm deeply grateful and humbled to have this life to live, and to love. It's all a process and I have a ton to learn - but little by little, yes - little by little, I will learn. I feel so very blessed to have, among others, four of the best teachers around. I may have been custom made to be their best mama - but they were also custom made to be my best little teachers, and friends. Oh, how I love them so! 

Hudson at 7 months

This one's a little blurry because this SEVEN month old just can't hold still! He kept laughing and trying to lunge forward to crawl off the sofa, so I had to snap quick and grab him! Yes, Hudson, he's a busy one! He has 3 teeth on the bottom now, has mastered the crawl, still drools a lot through his happy, contagious smiles, chews on everything, and this past week has started pulling himself up to stand! He's still wobbly, and quite chubby - which makes for a dangerous fall here and there. He loves finger foods these days - watermelon, peaches, avocado, and bananas are some faves. He's hit and miss with his water in his sippy cup, but getting there. He also takes baths like a big boy now, sitting up in the tub with a sibling...or two...or three. Overall, he's just a happy, easy going little guy, and I love his peaceful nature and the joy he brings to our oft-crazy circus. I could squeeze him all the live-long day (and often do!) and oh! His cheeks! And rolls! Ah, he's growing so fast. I have mixed feelings about that, but mostly, I just love watching him learn and grow and his enthusiasm for the simplest things many of us take for granted. A lucky boy to be loved so well!

Hudson at 6 months

I can't believe he's six months old! He started army crawling a few weeks ago, and now he's on his hands and knees. Today, he found the stairs. He's a busy baby boy, but when he's not busy he wants nothing more than to be held or worn. He takes short little cat naps (usually when being held or worn), but very rarely a good nap (ie. the kind where Mama can get something "done"). It's all good, he'll get there. He's super-chill-go-with-the-flow-happy-go-lucky so we can't complain. He's also pretty cute, and has the sweetest little voice and giggles galore! He's super chunky, and super duper happy. And we learned last week that he's an awesome traveler, too. He loved the beach in Florida, and painting the town at the French Quarter in New Orleans. His first little tooth (bottom right) made it's appearance about ten days ago, making him our earliest teether. We have just started introducing soft finger foods (mango, banana, avocado) which he loves. He especially loves his mum mum crackers, and Mama's milk, of course. He sleeps great at night and loves snuggling up in our family bed. His eyes keep getting blue-er, and his hair keeps getting blonde-er ;) He loves bath time, being outside, and his brother and sisters. Oh, and Sofie le Girafe. Gah. He's just the best and the world is a better place with him in it. We are head over heels for our Hudson Jude! Happy Half Birthday, little man!

Hudson's first solids

Hudson was excited to try his first solids! I snapped a few pics before things got messy (and fun!)

Hudson at 5 months

This happy guy is 5 months old today. What!?! Rather than lament and scold Father Time for speeding by, I will just focus on all the fun we're having with our littlest boy. He does the tripod sit and is getting better at it every day. (I think he's practicing so he can sit and look real chill on his first trip to the beach in a couple weeks). He is the King of drool. His favorite toys are currently his toes. He can roll all over the room and can scotch/wriggle/crawl about 4 feet. He's super ticklish and has the cutest giggles. He LOVES his brother and sisters. He also loves to nurse, and to be held or worn. He also loves stories and bath time. He brings joy and smiles to everyone, everywhere. Aspen often says, "Mama, I just love him SO SO much!" Me too, sister. Me, too.

Hudson at 4 months

This squishy lil guys is four months old today! He rolls from back to front, and front to back! He pushes up and kicks his legs because he really wants to GO somewhere (or just keep up with everybody else). He manages to go in circles and has started getting around enough that we put the baby gate up over the weekend - and all legos up out of reach. He loves to suck on things and his current favorite is grabbing his toes. He's cute as can be (though he's losing all his hair!) and his giggles are simply delightful. I just put away the 0-3 months sized clothes last night and he weighed in at just over 14 lbs at his check up this morning. He's a chunky little monkey and we couldn't love him more!

Hudson at 3 months

We call him bugaboo, he has the biggest eyes, which are looking rather blue. He's easy going and loves to watch all the action going on around him. He will spend a good hour smiling and watching intently as his sisters dance, sing, and twirl around. He will also happily gaze at the ceiling fan as it spins. He sleeps great at night and cat naps during the day - he always wants to be held or worn, and he loves to be outside. He laughs and smiles, and is getting to be such a cute chunky monkey! Hudson Jude, we love you to pieces, dude!

sink baths

I love bathing my babies. Luckily, they have all loved bath time and the water. Something about getting them all sudsy, smelling so yummy, seeing their little chubby rolls, feeling their magnificently soft skin...and the smiles, coos, and giggles as the discover the fun of splishing and splashing and the joy that comes with the little things of life. It's just so fun! Here, Hudson is six weeks old, and being all mellow in his sink bath. I love his wrinkly little feet - I always tell my kids that it must have been a fun bath if you stay long enough to let your toes turn to raisins! Oh, the fun we have!

Hudson's Birth Story

Hudson Jude Carter

10.25.2014

7 lbs 20 inches

The rather amazing story of our Hudson Jude coming earth side (sorry, it's rather long): 

First, some background. So...if you know the stories of my other births, you know that I tend to have rapid or precipitous labors and deliveries. My first birth was quick and smooth - just under 5 hours of active labor - but my second and third were both very fast - second being about 2 and a half hours of active labor, and third being barely an hour and a half (and we came super close to having her in the hallway of the birth center!). Thankfully, my research, preparation, and practice - in particular my training and practice of hynobirthing (Mongan Method) - prepared my mind and body very well to cope with these quick labors. Instead of being terrified - I was simply surprised - but extremely calm. I have been able to relax to the point that I honestly LOVE labor and delivery - it is a very Zen experience for me. I am quiet, relaxed, and drawn inward to the extent that my husband has to just sit back and watch because I don't really "need" him to do anything (which is why I began assigning him to be my birth photographer ;) I tend to have rough pregnancies (especially with girls) and a quick, smooth, labor and delivery have always seemed like a gift to me. 

However, as we prepared for the birth of our fourth baby, we had moved to a new state. Texas is not as progressive as Seattle when it comes to where, when, and how to have a baby. While I had an OB that I adored in Seattle, a small hospital with an attached birth center that was set up wonderfully to support natural labors and deliveries - I found that Texas was simply behind the times in that regard. So, we decided to use a free-standing birth center with a midwife group. They were wonderful to work with. The only problem is that the birth center was 30 minutes from our home. For most, that wouldn't be a problem. But considering that my third baby could've easily been born in the hallway of the birth center, and we lived a mere 5 minutes away - we were both a bit nervous about getting to the birth center in time for our fourth baby. 30 minutes!?! Our midwives, thankfully, were just as concerned as we were! They actually gave us instructions and set us up with a little portable car "birth kit" - just in case we ended up having to deliver on the side of the road somewhere. This was both wonderful, and slightly nerve racking for me! I could sense their being nervous about us making it, too. 

So, three days before his expected due date, on a Saturday, I had a few random surges in the wee hours of the morning. I was so excited! Maybe this would be it! I think I had like three. But once I got out of bed and showered, they completely stopped. Bummer. Maybe not today, after all. It was a lovely - gorgeous - autumn-ish day in Austin, so after a leisurely breakfast of German Pancakes, we decided it would be a wonderful afternoon for a little hike. Obviously, I was at the waddling stage - but still, a hike sounded perfect. We packed some lunches and got our little gang of hikers ready to go. We called and invited my sister and her husband to join us if they wanted to. They did! So - we waited for them to come over, and then we caravaned about 30 minutes to the trailhead. As we were hiking (it was mostly uphill natural stairs) I had a few surges. Jacob started to get nervous. I brushed it off. They were totally random and not coming in any pattern or consistency. We'd be fine. We hiked a little further, and then found a spot to eat our little lunch. After that, we started back. Across from the trailhead is a lovely little park - one of my very favorite in Austin. Woodlands Park. We decided to go over and let the kids play on the playground and run around for a bit. As they were playing, I needed to use the restroom. As I walked up a steep hill towards the public restrooms, I was suddenly hit by a powerful surge. It stopped me in my tracks, it was a painful sensation - I had not felt something like that before. I chalked it up to walking up the steep hill. And took my time coming down. About fifteen minutes later, my body started feeling a little crampy. Jacob decided that perhaps it would be good to start heading back towards home. IF for some reason things started happening - it would take a good hour to get to the birth center from where we were. So, we packed up, and headed towards home. I had a couple of surges during the drive home. Jacob let my sister know that there was a chance we might call them to come over at some point, if I went into labor. 

It was about 5pm by the time we got home. I decided to go upstairs to our room and lay down for a few minutes. Jacob decided to take the kids to the grocery store and grab a few last minute groceries and some pizza for dinner. While he was gone, I started having more surges. I decided to time them. They were somewhat random, but they were definitely coming. Around 6pm, Jacob and the kids returned and he checked in with me. I told him what was happening and that I thought, yes, something was happening - but I was content just laying there relaxing. There was no way I was anywhere near needing to rush to the birth center. He decided to call the midwives for their opinion. Because the surges were random and not in a perfect pattern, they told us to take an average. They said when they averaged TEN minutes apart they wanted us to come in right away. Okay - after only a few surges (from the time I started timing them, just after 5pm) they averaged 10 minutes. Really? We're supposed to go right NOW? But, we would rather be safe and get there early than have a baby on the freeway, so Jacob called my sister and about 20 minutes later - about 6:30, we said good bye to the kids and headed toward the birth center. I had only had 12 surges total since we got home. There was no traffic, so we got there in about 20 minutes. STRANGELY though, once we got in the car - the surges stopped. I kept waiting for them. I had maybe one during the 20 minute drive. I started to wonder why we went. 

We checked in with the midwives and they checked me to see where things were at. Baby was still really high, but I was already 5cm dilated and 80% effaced...so they did NOT want me going anywhere. I changed into my little black nightgown, and they set me up on the birth ball. I felt completely silly! NO surges! They still wanted me to stay. For 2 hours, I sat there on the birth ball, listening to birth affirmations and relaxing music, and joking with Jacob that this was crazy. The midwives decided to try to help things along - so they gave me a drop of blue cohosh under my tongue, and started to diffuse some clary sage essential oil into the air near me. Well, about 20 minutes later - at this point it was about 9:15pm - I FINALLY started having some surges again. I was so excited! They came one on top of each other - about 5 minutes apart but SO easy to handle. It was the craziest labor! I asked them at what point I should get in the birth tub, and they said, whenever I wanted. So, they filled it up and dimmed the lights, and I got in. Silence. Sweet, calm, silence, as the water enveloped me in the perfect temperature of the womb. Jacob sat nearby. I looked like I was asleep, and yet - finally, the surges were getting closer and stronger together. I glanced at the clock - 10pm. I wondered when I might meet this baby boy I had dreamed of meeting for so long!

Well, about fifteen minutes later, things got more intense - I was obviously in transition.  It was one of the midwives' birthday that day, and she joked that a perfect present would be to have my baby share her birthday! By 10:15pm, I felt like pushing. I had pushed 3 babies out before - and while not a cake walk, honestly, I barely pushed at all with babies number 2 and 3 - they just flew right out into the world. This time, something was different. I pushed with all of my might - and for the first time, ever - I said out loud "is he going to come out?" It was the most intense pushing I had ever done. I closed my eyes and seriously felt like maybe he was somehow stuck. Well, it seemed like a while to me - but it was mere minutes. I was determined. At 10:30pm - after fifteen minutes and probably about 5 pushing contractions - one of the midwives said he was coming - there he was! And "OH MY GOODNESS! It's his FACE!" One more push, my water finally broke - and he was out! Such relief from the pressure! Immediately, after they handed him to me, both of the midwives started completely GEEKING OUT! They told us that he had a very rare presentation - that now everything made more sense. My labor stopped because of his position. I had to push harder than ever before because I was pushing the BIGGEST part of his body through the birth canal instead of the malleable crown of his head. They said it was akin to a breech delivery - but much more uncommon. They went on to tell us that they had only seen this type of presentation in text books! And that generally, the labor takes a very long time and the baby gets stuck and an emergency c-section takes place. Also, the baby's face is generally very swollen and bruised - almost scary looking (google it). However, because my water didn't break until right when he was born, it padded both my bones and his face - and while he was a little swollen and bruised, he looked great and a day later you'd never know how traumatic his delivery was on his poor little face.

Wow. I heard them, but I was mostly just happy to have Hudson Jude looking up at me and in my arms. I didn't think a whole lot about anything except that he made it out safe and sound and - really - labor was easy peasy besides the last part of pushing where I momentarily doubted he would come out. But I was glad to know there was a good reason I felt that way, and sense to why labor had stopped. I honestly feel like if he had been in a normal position - I wouldn't have made it to the birth center. Now, it was a more difficult delivery - but at the same time, we got to where we needed to be. They are also set up at the birth center to do a 5 minute emergency transfer to the nearby hospital if there are complications, so I am so grateful we were there instead of on the side of the road. One of the midwives told me she couldn't believe how calm and relaxed I was during labor - that no wonder my babies are born and so calm and mellow. I took it as a wonderful complement. 

So - he was finally here. Our sweet and adorable Hudson Jude. I, of course, tore (as I did every single delivery) - so Jacob held our boy while they stitched me up. We made a couple of phone calls. Texted family and a few friends that he had arrived. And then, I took a shower and got cleaned up and we got settled into the family bed they had there in the room. One thing I love about the birth center, is that you don't have to stay long. Normally, a second (or third, or fourth) time mom only has to stay 4 hours - but that would have us going home in the middle of the night. Our kids were all asleep and my sister and her husband were there, so we decided to just stay the night at the birth center. 

I can NEVER sleep after I have a baby. I get the biggest adrenaline rush and am just SO excited - so I just stayed up all night, holding, cuddling, staring at our perfect little guy. So thankful. Jacob, on the other hand, was able to sleep just fine. So, while I sat in the rocking chair most of the night, Jacob slept. I held my boy, nursed him, rocked him, loved on him in the way only a mother can. What a gift he was to our family! I woke Jacob up early-ish because I wanted to go home. So, we got everything ready to check out and by 7am we left. The birth center has a kitchen, but because of the time I had Hudson - we didn't really get a good dinner. Just some snacks. I was STARVING! So, we decided to take a detour on the way home. We stopped at Kerby Lane Cafe for an early morning feast of a breakfast. Since it was a few days before Halloween, they had their seasonal pumpkin pancakes. We had such a yummy breakfast - a little date on the way home, before things got loud with FOUR kids! Ha! I have to admit, the waitress was like "wow, that's the tiniest baby I've seen - how old?" And I was like..."he was born last night" and her jaw dropped. I guess not many people take their newborn on a date when they are a few hours old. It was a fun memory made.

We took Hudson home - arrived about 9am -  and introduced him to his adoring fan club - his brother and sisters. It's always so magical when they meet their new sibling, just makes my mama heart explode!  Hudson's birth story really was amazing - we were incredibly lucky that everything worked out so well. And now, here we are, with FOUR babies! And oh, how we love them!

This is a little update (about a year and a half later...) - since many people assume he was "sunny side up" - but no. It was actually his squishy little FACE that presented! Around his birthday, and when people talk to me about it, I realize that I had a little bit of retrospective birth trauma. Everything turned out fine, yes - but every now and then I think about how crazy and scary it COULD have been, and it kinda freaks me out! Strangely enough, I am like this weird legend at the birth center! They all know the story and every time I go in - "oh, you're the one!" Yes, yes I am. I guess they actually had one more face presentation since I had Hudson - and she had to be transferred for an emergency c-section. Made me feel that much more grateful! If he was my first baby instead of fourth, I am not sure I could've done it! But, I did. And he is the happiest little guy - our happy Hudson! 

Hudson at 2 months

On Christmas Day, among many wonderful things, we celebrated that this sweet baby has been with us TWO whole months! He is getting some little rolls, and oh how I love a chubby baby! He delights us with coos and smiles and as long as he has his belly full of Mama's milk, he's an easy going guy. He weighed in today at 10lbs 6oz and the Doc said he is super strong and coordinated. But we already knew that - as he has started rolling over already!

Thoughts // four

Today marks four weeks since our sweet Hudson was born. It also marks four weeks since I have been the mother to four darling children. This is my dream come true! My arms and heart are simply over flowing with babies and my love for them couldn't be any bigger. I realized this morning that I had yet to take a single picture of all four of my babies together, and so I decided to give it a go - and surprisingly, though it started off rather loud, it got quiet and we had a small window where all were calm, and I was able to magically capture this most beautiful moment in time. An image for each child, and one of them all together. I couldn't ask for more! I will cherish these images for always, I know that. I keep looking at the sweet faces of my children and wondering, how it is that I've been so blessed? I am ever so humbled and grateful for the chance I have to be their mother, the one, along with their wonderful father, who has been entrusted to help give them life, and to guide, teach, walk beside, and love them throughout their earthly journey - and beyond. I surely have my short comings and the ups and downs of motherhood are so very real - yet I thank my lucky stars multiple times each day for this gift. It is what I was born to do, and what I have dreamed of for my whole life. If there is one thing I want my children to know, it's that they are loved. Oh, so very very loved. My four little loves - oh how I love you!

Hudson at 1 month

Today, we celebrate one whole month since this sweet little fella joined our family. He has stolen our hearts in the most delightful way. There is always magic in the air with a new baby in the family, and we are soaking up and savoring our sweet boy and these moments he is so fresh from heaven.

Boys shared room

Tomorrow Hudson will be one month old. I haven't put him in his crib at all yet (he sleeps with us at night, in his moses basket for naps...or just snuggled up with me at all times ;) Today, I was putting some laundry away in the boys' room and I thought, perhaps, I'd set him in his crib asleep for once, since I did make the effort to put together a sweet little welcoming space for him. It's a work in progress, of course - with little people constantly growing and changing, I feel like our home is a constant work in progress. You'd think with him being our fourth baby, I'd just give up and save myself the time, energy, and money in creating a space when I know oh so well he'll end up sleeping with us for at least the first year. But that nesting instinct is pretty strong - and it gave me something to do, right? So, here is the boys' shared space. Pretty simple. A bed, a crib, a teepee, and a couple of baskets. I made the teepee and the mobile - I have made a mobile for each of my babies, it's one of my favorite little traditions in preparing to meet them. Sawyer had a lot of input on this room - we painted it white and then he wanted to put splashes of color around, and forest animals. My favorite splurge was Hudson's crib sheet, and Sawyer's sheets, as well. Anyway, it's a simple space, that will surely transform and change a bit over time. If I'm being honest, I mostly just wanted an excuse to take some pictures of my sweet almost one-month old baby boy. He is such a gift to us all.