a bushel and a peck

I'm finally home. Been MIA for a bit over a week. That's because during Sawyer's Birthday Party we got a phone call to get home as quick as we could, as my Grandmother was in the hospital and not doing well. So, we packed up the party, went home, threw some things together (literally) and started driving. We got to my family's home at about 2am, crashed for a few hours, and then headed to the hospital to see our dear Grandma Iris (Gigi to the great-grandbabies) Sunday morning.

I hesitated about bringing the camera into the hospital, but now I am so glad I did. For my siblings and family members who didn't get a chance to come say good-bye in person, this is for them. And for me, for my memory bank, and for my children. This is my beautiful Grandmother two days before she died. She was as beautiful as ever. I hope to look half as good as she did at 91. More importantly, I hope to be half the woman she was during my little dash here on Earth.

To my sister Rachel - here she is talking to you on the phone. She was surrounded by family and those that couldn't be there, she really did feel your love through your thoughts, prayers, and phone calls.

The two youngest members of our family were able to bring smiles to her face. Above, she is smiling at the handsome face of my brother's baby, Zack.

She was waiting to meet Aspen. We were originally going to go spend the 4th of July with her. But she couldn't wait for the fireworks. Her celebration was of a different variety. Quiet, sweet, kisses from Great-grandmother to Great-granddaughter. I don't recall if my heart melted or exploded at this point, but I am so happy they got to meet, and that Aspen got kisses from my sweet Grandma Iris.

Monday was the second anniversary of her husband's death. In accordance to her wishes, we had any life support turned off at a certain point. We had a very special and peaceful experience as we gathered around her and had a family prayer...we were her "send off" party and there was a big celebration being prepared to welcome her on the other side. I can only imagine the reunion she had with her husband of 65 years, her parents, her 8 siblings, her Grandparents, and other friends and relatives who have gone before her. She held on for a little while, and then passed away the following evening.

Still, it was bittersweet. It is hard to say good-bye to someone you love so much. It was hard when Sawyer picked up the phone the next day, as I have done at least weekly, and said "callin' Gigi", knowing we could never again during this life pick up the phone to call her and hear her voice answer. But I have been surprised at the measure of comfort and peace that has settled over our family during this time of her departure from this life.

As a child, Grandma would often sing this Doris Day song, "I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck..."

I was pleased to be able to whisper those same words to her before she went. She sat up just a little bit in bed, leaned toward me with bright eyes, and said "I love you."

But she didn't have to say it. She said it every day without words. I have always been secure in the knowledge of her love for me, and for all of us. I already miss her, but I know she is in a better place. A place of peace and rest. And I know that when my time comes, she will be waiting to welcome me, too.

I love you, Grandma. A Bushel and a Peck...

*I will do some catching up posts soon, as well as post about her funeral in the coming week or so...for those who wanted to be there but couldn't. And of course I will need to catch up on Sawyer's big event, too - he's TWO now!

to share

You know you have the world's best big brother when he shares his favorite toys with you...before you even ask.

Since the day she was born, I have found little cars around her, her brother's effort at sharing. Sometimes I get teary eyed when I reach to get her from the swing or the bouncy seat or her car seat, as I realize that in his small yet sincere way, her brother is loving her. One thing I've certainly learned as a Mother, is how your children can soften your heart by the small and simple everyday actions that make them the innocent and teachable little people that they are. They are such great examples. I don't think I so willingly share my favorite "toys"...especially before people ask. I try. But I have a lot to learn from the little people in my life ;)

yummy

Didn't I tell you she loves sucking on her hands? I'm just waiting for the day she discovers her toes!

sunday afternoon

I wish I could say that Sunday is always a relaxing day...but the truth is...it is always a good day, but not always relaxing, at least for our family. Jacob seems to have done something that perpetuates a sign over his head that says "I'm a good guy. I'm a good leader." and in a church where the laymen are the leaders, he always seems to get picked. He dedicates a lot of time - his only spare time, really, as he's been working upwards of 70+ hours a week pretty much since Aspen's birth, to his duties and service related to his church assignments. Which means, early morning meetings before church, often after church, during the week etc. I fully acknowledge the blessings that flow into our lives because of the service we offer our fellowmen in our church assignments, but that doesn't mean I don't occasionally wish we could just have a lazy Sunday, or take a nap, or something. We try very hard to squeeze in a Sunday Stroll, but today it is a bit rainy and dreary. So, between meetings today, Jacob got to sit down for just a few minutes, and in that time, he played with Aspen. Or rather, she played with him? She was trying so hard to grab the little dots on his tie! And then, of course, she showered him with some spit up. It is just part of our lives these days :)

I so appreciate my good husband. I don't think he even knows how much. I wish I were better at letting him know. I'll have to work on that!

I also appreciate when he gets a few minutes to sit with us on a Sunday afternoon. I know he does, too. Sometimes I feel selfish, but maybe it's just natural, to always want my loved ones within arms reach. I truly relish the time we get to spend together. I try incredibly hard to be organized enough to have some time to spend just doing nothing or anything with my man and our babes. They are truly my everything, my greatest gifts.

I hope you all were able to spend a few minutes relaxing today, just enjoying your loved ones, doing nothing in particular, but at the same time, supremely enjoying each other's company.

Happy Sunday!

aspen at four months

Time is a-flyin'. Tomorrow, Aspen is 4 months old. Our newborn is no longer. We definitely have a roly-poly little baby these days, who is learning the ropes of living and exploring her world at lightning speed.

I promise not to make this as long as last month...but I just have to "jot" a couple of things down because this is where I do that. (Then I'll look back over it to make her baby book later!)

Aspen at Four Months:

-You've discovered your hands. BIG TIME. You can't get enough of sucking and drooling on those pudgy little fingers and fists of yours. And we just can't get enough of Y-O-U, cuteness!

-Your eyes are looking like blue might stick...and you're hair keeps gradually getting lighter. Maybe it'll end up "dirty blond" like your brothers? Who knows? His eyes took a long time to settle to a color - and they ended up being quite unique. Maybe yours will settle sooner and be more of one color - perhaps like Daddy's gray/blue eyes? I guess we'll find out, eventually!

-You're rolling over both directions, and getting more proficient every day. Sometimes when I leave you on the floor to go change a load of laundry, I come back 30 seconds later to find your rolled over.

-Along with the rolling over, you like to grasp things and reach for things now. Toys are much more exciting...and one of your favorite games is when Sawyer pulls his "semi truck" up in front of your view and he then backs it up out of your view and says "where is it? there't is!" You always bust out the smiles.

-You started using the big sponge in the big bath tub and are experimenting with kickin' those cute, chubba-lubba legs of yours to get some splashing action. I am excited for the day that you and your brother can "play" together during bath time!

-You have started joining us at the dinner table - no longer down below in the bouncy seat or swing, but now in your own high chair. You love being more a part of our family meals, and I saw you eyeing our food last night...yikes, a couple more months and you'll get to try some of Momma's homemade goodness baby food (I have a sneaky suspicion that it will become popular once again with your bro, too).

-We just traded in the baby swing for the Exersaucer - and Sawyer loves showing you how all the toys work. (I think he'll miss having the swing out, too, since when you're not in it he sneaks in a swing or two whenever he thinks we're not watching...)

-You are SO smiley and happy and you'd probably laugh or think your Momma is weird for how many times I try to eat your tummy daily, or nibble your ear...anything to hear your sweet giggles. It is MUSIC TO MY EARS. One of the best sounds in all the world.

-Lucky for us, we don't have to try to get you to smile. You come by it naturally. It must be genetic :)

-And, of course, you love your brother. You watch him like a hawk. You smile at the things he does even when he doesn't see it. But I do. It pretty much makes my heart melt, I'm such a sap!

-To my delight, you are kinda a "Momma's Girl". I'm loving it! Please stay that way all the way through high school!

-Your just such a sweet girl, I can't get over it. How did we ever get so lucky?

We love you, Little Aspen!

*okay, I lied about keeping it short. There's just too much good stuff to tell!